


Your boyfriend’s a douche, I’m better for you

by JustASlytherin



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Even Always Went to Nissen, Chris Hates Even, Doesn't Follow Skam, Even Hates Chris, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-07 10:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustASlytherin/pseuds/JustASlytherin
Summary: Isak and Chris have been a couple for some time now and with Isak finally also being at Nissen they could see each other more. Everybody at school think they’re cute or whatever.Feels like the perfect relationship.But it isn’t.Not for Isak.His parents don’t know about Chris being his boyfriend, his friends don’t like him.And this guy at school who’s the same age as Chris and absolutely hot doesn’t make it better.Also it’s definitely not his fault this Even kisses him at the party.But he shouldn’t enjoy it this much.





	1. Chapter 1

“Missed me?“ A voice appears behind Isak. A smile builds on his lips and he turns around.

“Never.” Isak teases the boy in front of him. He doesn’t mean it – of course he doesn’t – but every time he says something like this, Chris pouts, like he does right now. And Isak can’t help but to think it’s cute.

Chris presses a small kiss on Isak’s lips and makes the other smile.

“So you’re coming to our party at Friday, right?” Chris asks him, taking his hand and together they walk to Chris’ car.

“I guess.” The party Chris is mainly planned by Chris and his friends, mostly William. They planned this for a long time now. One of the boys’ parents own a cabin in the woods and they allowed him to have the party there.

“Great. You can bring your friends if you want.” Isak nods. It’s Monday and Isak didn’t feel like going to that party at all. He hopes this will change.

“I’ll ask them.” They arrive at Chris’ car and they get it.

Before starting the car Chris leans over and kisses Isak again, this time longer than before. Isak feels Chris’ tongue soon after their lips met and stops the kiss before it goes too far.

“Not here.” He says.

“Sure.” Chris pecks his lips again, then he starts the car and drives away.

 

Not long after they stop in front of Chris’ house, get out of the car and Chris unlocks the front door. They get out of their jackets and shoes, before going to Chris’ room. Chris’ goes to sit down on his bed and pulls Isak with him, pulling him closer once they’re both lying on the bed. He places a kiss on Isak’s cheek, which makes the other smile. Isak turn in the hug until he faces Chris. This time it’s Isak, who initiates the kiss.

Isak is literally lying on top of Chris now and the kiss deepens but neither of them cares. Chris’ hands start moving; one of them finds its way to Isak’s butt, the other to Isak’s neck to pull him even closer. They keep kissing like that for a while until Chris decides to change their positions. Now Isak is on his back with Chris above him. Chris, who now kisses down Isak’s neck to his collar.

“Chris” Isak says when one of Chris’ hands goes under his shirt.

Isak forces himself not to moan by the way Chris kisses, licks and bites his skin.

“Chris, stop.” He tries again, what actually leads Chris to stop.

“Why?” The other asks and looks at Isak. “No one’s home.”

“I know. But I just don’t want to. Not now.” Isak explains and his boyfriend sighs.

“Fine.” At first Isak thought Chris is angry but the other kisses him before he lies down on his back and pulls Isak to his side.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Chris wants to know.

“Something with Jonas and the other guys. Apparently I spent my whole time with you lately and they are jealous.” Isak smiles.

“Well you do spend all your free time with me. Not that I’m complaining.” Chris kisses his cheek.

 “You’re not, but they are. So I agreed on doing something with them tomorrow. We’re probably going to the skate park or whatever.”

“You’re going to the skate park? To watch all the cute skater boys? Should I be the one who’s jealous now?” Chris mocks him.

“Absolutely. Haven’t I told you? The boys want to get me another boyfriend. Tomorrow we’re looking for potential material.” An offended expression builds on Chris’ face. They both know Isak is just joking but Chris plays along. Well he does until they both start laughing.

They spend some time like this. Lying on Chris’ bed and making dumb jokes until neither of them can think about one anymore and they go along to play video games.

In the evening Chris drives Isak home, since his parents don’t like Isak staying at Chris’ (or his other ‘friends’) house on a school night, and kisses him goodbye.

Isak has a huge smile on his face when he falls asleep.

 

The next morning when he arrives at school, the first of his friends he spots is Eva. She’s with four girls Isak doesn’t know but Jonas has mentioned Eva found new friends. Good for her.

He goes up to her, hugs her, exchanges some words with her, greets the other girls and then leaves to look for his other friends. Or Chris.

He finds William. Awesome. Not. It’s not that Isak doesn’t like this guy, it’s just that William hooks up with another girl very party he is at and sometimes Isak thinks William would prefer Chris being single, not being with a first year.

“Isak, long time no see. Not that I haven’t heard about you. I really can’t complain about not knowing what’s going on in your life.”

“William” Isak nods in his direction.

“So Chris told me you’re coming on Friday? That’s good you know. Then Chris doesn’t have to choose between you and the party.” Well that would be one of the reasons why William isn’t so keen on Chris and Isak dating. Chris’ bus throws parties almost every weekend and Isak just doesn’t want to go to all of them, so he doesn’t. And Chris ended up not going either more than once, because he spent this time with Isak.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Isak really wants this talk to end.

“Great. You can bring friends. Especially female friends of yours are welcome.” William gives him a shitty grin that shows how full of himself he is. (That is a reason why Isak isn’t the biggest William fan.)

Two arms wrap around him from behind and lips are pressed to his cheek.

“Hey. What are you two talking about?” Chris asks them and Isak is glad that he doesn’t have to be alone with William anymore.

“Oh, I was just telling Isak that he can invite some of his friends to our party on Friday.” William answers before Isak can think about saying something.

“I already told him that yesterday.” At the end of the sentence Chris seems to be distracted. Isak looks at his boyfriend to see him looking somewhere else. He follows Chris’ gaze (William does too.) and sees a tall, blond guy. A tall, blond and hot guy. Isak hates himself for thinking that. He has seen him before and he has to confess, he thought the other was good looking the first time he saw him. He knows the guy is also a third year but he doesn’t seem to have anything else in common with Chris or William.

The other turns away from his friends to look at them. Well at first he looks at Chris who strengthens his grip around Isak and then his look falls on Isak. He starts smiling but it’s not in a happy way. In lack of a better word Isak would describe this smile as seductive.

But that couldn’t be, right?

Judging by Chris’ reaction, it could.

“Okay, that’s it! I’m going to beat the shit out of him.” Isak looks shocked at his angry boyfriend. He hates when Chris is like that.

“Calm down, Chris. We both know he does this because of your reaction.” William tries to handle the situation and Isak looks at the blond guy again, who’s still smiling but this time looks totally pleased with himself.

“Who is he?” Isak asks mainly to get Chris’ attention to him and his look away from the other, who turned to his friends again.

“Even Bech Næsheim. He’s an asshole. Trust me. Just stay away from him.” Chris tells Isak who starts to wonder what this guy did to make Chris that mad at him. However Isak doesn’t think he should ask Chris and they have to get to class anyway. Chris kisses Isak long before their ways part but doesn’t look at Isak when they break apart. He looks somewhere behind Isak. When he turns around, he sees this guy Even from before standing in front of the classroom Chris has to go in. Isak still doesn’t get what’s up between them but he pulls Chris in for a short kiss before he leaves to go to his own classroom.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m a bit late. Chris wanted to meet me before I leave.” Isak greets his friends.

“You mean Chris wanted to make out with you before you leave.” Jonas answers and the others all laugh. “But don’t worry we have to wait for Eva anyways.”

“For Eva?” that was new to Isak.

“Yeah, I told you she’s coming with us, haven’t I?” Jonas asks him.

“No, you haven’t. But you told me I couldn’t bring Chris, since it’s just us.”

“Well Eva belongs to us as well.” Jonas tries to explain but sounds slightly guilty.

“Chris is my boyfriend, so he does too. I don’t get where the difference is.”

“The difference is that we don’t know Chris.” Magnus joins the conversation.

“You know Chris. You’ve met him.” Isak doesn’t get why they don’t want Chris here.

“Yeah, once. And since that day I know more about your sex life than I ever wanted to know.” Jonas fakes an absolutely disgusted face expression.

“Come on, that was a joke.” Isak defends his boyfriend.

“Which time? I can barely remember him saying something that wasn’t related to your sex life.”

Isak sighs. The only time his friends have actually met Chris was a slight disaster. The only thing they have in common is that they like Isak (At least Isak thinks they do.). After that Isak stopped getting them to meet each other. His friends greet Chris when they see him in school but only stop to speak to him when Isak is with either them or Chris. Chris doesn’t approach them either.

“It’s just weird.” Jonas tries again but realizes himself that this isn’t the best thing to say right now.

They wait for Eva silently after this comment. Fortunately she doesn’t take too long.

 

At the skate park Isak sits down and watches the other people here. He thinks back to Chris’ comment the day before and smiles. He decides to tease him a little.

He gets out his phone and text him:

 

_You should be here. Loads of cute skater boys._

 

He puts his phone away again, when Eva sits down next to him.

“Hey.” She says while sitting down.

“Hey.”

“The girls wanted me to ask you something.” She sounds annoyed.

Isak sends her a questioning look.

“They really want to go the party at Friday, so Sana asked us if we knew any third years. I said no, because that’s true and today in school after you came up to us Sana was like: ‘I thought you didn’t know any third years.’ And when I told them you’re a first year like us, she was like: ‘I know but he is dating Chris Schistad. A third year.’ And well now they want me to ask you if you can get us to the party at Friday.” Eva finishes her request.

“Sure.” Isak answers and is hugged by Eva.

“And that would really be okay?”

“Yes, Chris told me I could bring friends.”

“Bring friends where?” Jonas plops down next to Eva.

“To the party at Friday!” Eva sounds so exited; Isak knows it’s a good idea to invite her.

“What and you haven’t told us?” Now Magnus and Mahdi join the conversation as well.

“I wanted to but you were busy talking about other stuff. Besides he only told me yesterday.”

“Well, we’ll definitely come.” With that it was settled. The boys, Eva and her friends would all come to the party.

“But please don’t make us talk to Chris about your sex life.” Eva added. Eva being the only one not knowing about the conversation earlier, she asks herself why the boys, except Isak, start laughing and Jonas saying:

“I told you so.”

Isak sighs and pretends to look on his phone. When he turns it on, he sees that Chris texted him back.

_Well I know I can fuck you better, so I don’t worry about that._

 

He decides to never show this text anyone.

 

“Can I ask you guys something?” There is one thing, one person, that has been bothering Isak the whole day.

“Spit it out.”

“Do you know an Even Bech Næsheim?”

His friends share some looks.

“What?”

“We do. He’s nice. I mean we hardly know him but he’s cool.” Jonas says after some time.

“He is? Then why did Chris tell me he’s an asshole?” Isak doesn’t get it. His boyfriend seems to hate this guy but his friends like him?

“Well... of course he does.” Eva throws in. Isak waits for one of them to explain it to him and fortunately Jonas decides to enlighten Isak:

“You don’t know it? Chris and Even hate each other.” Well Isak got that this morning but he wants to know why. Jonas goes on with his explanation. “I’m not sure what happened exactly but they never really got along. Their characters just seem to clash every time they’re in the same room. Apparently in school when they have a class together it’s not different. They always start arguments. This has been like this from the day they met. I think you know best that Chris is bi and Even is pansexual, so they are attracted to the same people, at least judging by gender. In their first year Even hooked up with this guy who Chris was into, at this party. After that they kind of started competing on who hooked up with hotter people. Well until Chris met you. Since then Chris started competing with him in every other way. People say they once got in an argument about car colours in class. Totally stupid if you ask me.” Jonas finishes and before Isak has the chance to interrogate Jonas, Magnus says:

“Did you just call his boyfriend stupid?”

“No, I didn’t. I only called his topics for an argument stupid.”

“So that’s it?” The others look at Isak and they all nod.

“Well as I said before, I don’t know if that’s all, but their relationship is said to be worse since the holidays. Don’t know why though.”

Isak thought this would help him understand Chris better. It didn’t. 

He tries not to think about it anymore to just have fun with his friends the rest of the day.

It works.

 

The next day at school Chris is waiting for him. He greets him with a smile and a kiss.

“How was yesterday?”

“Great. Got myself some new skater boyfriends.” Isak grins. Judging by Chris’ look he didn’t like the joke. Exactly what Isak was going for. Chris puts an arm around Isak’s shoulders and they get in the building together. At Isak’s locker they stop, Chris takes his arm away and instead holds Isak’s hand. He leans against the other lockers next to Isak’s before he says:

“I can only see you at school tomorrow, the boys want to buy some things for the party at Friday, so I have to go with them.” Isak knows the ‘some things’ mainly includes alcohol. “That’s why I suggest you coming home with me today. So we can spend some time alone. I mean yesterday we only had some time at school.”

“Yeah, okay.” Chris kisses Isak. “Oh and Chris I told Jonas, Magnus Mahdi and Eva they could come to the party. Eva will also bring some friends. That’s fine, right?”

“Sure. The more the merrier.” Isak expected this reaction, but he wanted to be sure.

Chris drags him closer and kisses him again.

“I have to get to class. I’ll see you after school.” Chris says kisses him again and leaves.

Isak looks in the direction he’s going, sees Chris turning around smiling and winking at him, before he is gone.

 

“So, now tell me why you’re with him.” He hears an unfamiliar voice behind him. When he turns around he looks into a face he has seen before and which he didn’t expect to belong to the voice. Even.

“What?”

“Tell me why you’re with him. I mean he’s a douche. No offense but I don’t get how you can date him.” Isak can only stare at the other. He knows not everybody likes Chris but no one ever said it in his face.

“I- He’s-“ Isak has no clue what to respond.

“You don’t know what to say to me, do you?” Even gets Isak’s problem right away.

“Well maybe I should start by introducing me first. I’m Even.” He reaches out his hand. Not knowing what else to do, Isak takes it and introduces himself:

“Isak.”

“Yeah, I know. Isak, the guy who’s dating the biggest douche of the school.” Even must really dislike Chris.

“You know, when you just met somebody you shouldn’t talk about their boyfriend like that.”

“Oh, right, you like him. I forgot about that. I just didn’t think anyone could like this guy.” Even seems to realize that his words won’t bring Isak to like him, so he adds:

“Well, you can like who you want to like. I’m sorry, Isak. I’m sorry for thinking you could do way better than him.” Isak is slightly impressed. This guy just complemented him by insulting his boyfriend.

“Why are you even talking to me?” He asks him. “If you only want to insult my boyfriend, you can turn around and go.” Isak turns to his locker, opens it and takes out the things he needs right now. Well he planned on doing so, but when he pulls out one notebook everything in his locker falls down. He groans. He bends over to pick his stuff up, only to have half of it handed to him.

“Thanks.” He says when he takes his stuff out of Even’s hand.

“You’re welcome.” Isak stuffs the things he doesn’t need back in the locker, which earns him a chuckle from Even.

“Something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine. But if you put it in like that it will only fall out again.”

“So? Why do you care?” Isak looks up at the frowning Even.

“I guess I don’t. It was nice speaking to you, Isak.” Even smiles at him and winks, similar to Chris before, then he leaves.

What Isak doesn’t get is why his heart skipped a beat when Even winked.

 

He meets Chris at his locker after school. Isak greets him with a kiss, after that he opens his locker. He tries not to think about a certain blond when everything in it falls out and down on the ground before Isak has the chance to grab it. Chris next to him starts laughing while Isak bends over again to pick his stuff up. This time no one helps him.

“You have a nice ass. Have I told you that before?” Chris says and Isak is sure the people around them heard him say that. He blushes and puts his things in his locker again.

“Yes, you have.” Isak doesn’t speak as loud as Chris, who doesn’t seem to be embarrassed at all.

“Today?” Is all Chris asks and when Isak shakes his head he pecks his lips and says:

“Well, you have a nice ass.”

 

At Chris’ they eat something that Chris cooks, well defrosts, talk, make out and do things Isak’s friends wouldn’t want to hear about. When Chris kisses him in the shower, Isak feels like was the perfect day.

They spent some time cuddling after the shower until Chris drives Isak home. It might take Isak almost 15 minutes to get out of the car.

So his day with Chris was perfect. But why is the last person he thinks about before he falls asleep not Chris? Why is the person he dreams about that night not Chris? Why is the first person he thinks about the next morning not Chris?

And why the hell is the person in all cases Even?

 

The following day nothing spectacular happens. He sees Chris at school, his friends as well and goes home after. He realized this never really happens. Most days he goes home with Chris, sometimes Chris comes home with him and in rare cases he spends time with some of his friends. That he’s alone after school is the rarest of all cases. He watches Netflix. He enjoys it.

 

“So are you going to the party with us or is Chris taking you?” Jonas asks him Friday morning at school.

“I’m going with you. Chris will be there sooner to set everything up or whatever.” Isak answers and then topic is discussed and they move on to something else.

 

They hear the music and the voices before they see the cabin. It’s hidden behind some trees. The cabin isn’t far in the woods, the street is just some minutes away, but you can’t hear the cars here. When they finally get visuals to the noises it is exactly what Isak expected. Teens drinking, dancing and making out with others. A normal party.

“I’ll look for Chris.” He says to his friends, who just nod. Since he doesn’t spot his boyfriend outside, he sends him a quick text.

 

_I’m here. Where are you?_

 

He thinks he might have more luck finding Chris inside, so he makes his way past already too drunk and some differently intoxicated people. In the cabin he looks around trying to spot Chris. Unsuccessfully.

“Are you looking for me?” Somebody behind him asks. Isak can tell immediately that it isn’t Chris. He turns around and looks into Even’s face. The other smiles at him and Isak’s damn heart beats faster.

“No.” Isak’s reply makes Even smile wider.

“That hurt.” His smile stayed on his face, so Isak is positive it didn’t hurt too much.

“You know, if you don’t find your boyfriend, you can always come to me.” Even winks at him and Isak couldn’t believe this guy. He knows exactly that Isak is dating someone, still he flirts with him.

“Isak! There you are. I have a beer for you.” He is relieved to hear Chris’ voice and feel his lips on his cheek. Chris hands him one of the bottles he’s holding and then wraps his now free arm around him. After he turns to Even and asks not so nice anymore:

“Who invited you?”

“Your boyfriend did. Apparently he wanted to spend his time with me, not with you.” Even replies and all three of them know it’s a lie. Still Isak feels Chris tense next to him. He knows Chris gets angry easily, so he tries to calm him down with a kiss on his cheek and a whispered ‘Chris’.

“Well I’m going to leave you alone. Isak you can always come find me if you’re boyfriend bores you.” Even winks at him again and is gone the next second. And Isak is alone with an angry Chris. Alone with a very angry Chris.

 

“I told you this guy’s an asshole. Why were you talking to him?”

“I wasn’t. I mean I was, but only because he came up to me. I was looking for you and he started talking to me.” Isak tries to explain, now facing Chris, who calmed down a little. Isak presses a kiss to Chris’ mouth, which relaxed the other even more. Isak takes a sip out of his bottle. Chris pulls him closer for another, longer kiss. Their lips touch and soon after their tongues meet. Isak forgets the people around them; Chris is the only one who is important right now.

“You’re hot.” Chris states, when they break apart, and makes Isak giggle. “I mean look at you.” Chris looks up and down Isak. Chris takes Isak’s hand and drags him to a couch not far from them. When they’re there Chris sits down and Isak wants to sit next to him but Chris pulls him on his lap. Chris empties his beer bottle and puts it on the table next to the couch. He wraps his arms around Isak and starts kissing down Isak’s neck.

“Chris.” Isak is torn between giggling and sighting. He moves away from Chris’ face, he wraps his arms around Chris’ neck, the beer bottle still in one of his hands. He takes a moment to look at Chris before he leans forward and kisses him. Isak forgets everything around him and is even able to ignore the loud music. However his position is slightly uncomfortable, with his legs pointing to his left he has to turn around to kiss Chris. To get more comfortable, he puts his knees on each side of Chris. Chris hands find their way under his shirt but Isak couldn’t care less. Until, well until he hears William’s voice:

“God, Chris. Get a room.” With that Isak breaks the kiss and blushes instantly. Chris yells back:

“Shut up!” and leans in for another kiss, but Isak keeps this one shorter. He also decides it’s safer for him to sit next to Chris. Still embarrassed he drinks some of his beer.

“I’ll get me another beer. Do you want something?” When Isak shakes his head and holds up his almost full bottle as explanation, Chris leaves him after a quick kiss. Only some seconds after Chris left Eva lets herself fall down next to him.

“Having a good time?” Isak nods. “You certainly look like it. Or are your lips always that swollen?” Eva breaks out in laughter and Isak immediately ask himself how much she handled to drink in the short time they’re here. Definitely more than him.

Eva spends some time with him until Chris comes back.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” She smirks and then disappears. Chris has an half empty beer bottle in his hand, when he sits down next to Isak. He instantly thinks about how much Chris had to drink so far.

“You know, I can’t wait to get you out of your clothes later.” He whispers in Isak’s ear and tugs at Isak’s sleeve. Isak feels his face getting warm again and he is glad that Chris turns his face in his direction to be able to kiss him.

 

They don’t spend the whole time making out. They also talk to other people there, drink a little (Chris more than Isak, but they’re both far from being drunk.) and generally have fun. It’s a great night. And then, then Isak and Chris find themselves on the couch again. They kiss and Isak is absolutely fine with that. But then Chris practically tries to undress Isak right there.

“Chris, stop. Not here.” Isak takes Chris hands away from his shirt.

“Okay, then let’s go upstairs.” Chris stands up and wants to lead Isak upstairs.

“No, Chris, not now.” Chris groans.

“Seriously?” He looks at Isak, sees that the other means it and groans again.

“Fine. Then let’s stay here like twelve year olds.” Chris is pissed. Isak can tell but he doesn’t feel like having sex right now, especially not when there’s a party going on right under where he’s supposed to have it.

“Come on Chris. That’s not fair.”

“What? It’s not my fault you always have to be such a little bitch when it comes to us having sex.” Isak’s mouth opened.

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, it’s true. Just think about Monday.” Isak can’t believe what is going on.

“How about you think about Wednesday?” Isak is hurt. He doesn’t want to have as much sex as Chris, but that was never a problem, Chris never said it was.

“Wow. One time when you’re not your stuck up self and you assume everything is fine?” They aren’t yelling, in fact they are both very calm when you think about them arguing right now.

“You-you never said something.” Isak’s voice is accusing.

“’Cause you would just run away. That’s what you do. You run away. From your – our – problems!”

“Problems? So there’s more than just that?” Isak wants to know what.

“Of course there’s more. In case you haven’t noticed, we have almost nothing in common. You don’t want your parents to know I’m your boyfriend, you’re ashamed of me, that’s why I’ve only met your friends once.” Chris blames Isak, who feels like crying.

“That’s not true. I lo-“ Isak stops. They’ve never said that. He can’t say it now. Not in a fight.

“You what, Isak?” Chris pushes him.

“I like you.” Chris gives a false laugh.

“Amazing, Isak. My boyfriend _likes_ me.” Isak swallows hard. He has never seen Chris like that. They’ve never actually fought. Them having their first fight in the middle of people partying, next to people drinking, dancing, having fun, is oddly ironic.

“Chris. Can we please not fight right now?” Isak doesn’t want this. He wants Chris to hug him and kiss him, not being angry at him.

“God Isak, you’re so annoying. Has no one ever told you that before? You’re annoying, you’re a kid. Fuck. What am I even doing with you?” Isak’s eyes widen.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Of course I do. You’re annoying. I can’t deal with you anymore. Finally grow up, Isak.” Isak feels his eyes water. He can’t cry. Not now. Not in front of Chris.

“You don’t want to say anything?” Chris looks annoyed. “Thought so. You can’t handle conflicts you always try to find the easy way out.” Isak can’t hear these things anymore. He turns around and walks away.

“Yeah Isak, run from your problems, like you always do!” Chris yells and Isak walks faster, so he’ll be out of the cabin before the tears start streaming down his face.

 

When he’s outside he walks away from the cabin and find a stump, in hearing range of the music and he’s still able to see the cabin, where he sits down. Now he doesn’t hold back the tears. He lets hem fall. He sits there sobbing, when he hears footsteps. Hope starts building up in him, but when he looks up he doesn’t see Chris.

“Hey, I saw you storming out of the cabin. You looked upset, so I went after you.” Even says, while sitting down next to Isak. He puts an arm around Isak, who lets his head fall against Even’s shoulder. They sit there for a while, Isak still crying and Even stroking his back in a comforting way.

“I told you he’s a douche.” Even says when Isak calmed down.

“What?”

“If he makes you cry, he’s a douche.” Isak sends Even a sad smile. He appreciates how the other tries to make him happy.

“See, that expression is better.” Even smiles at him and his smile is so honest, Isak can’t help but to smile back. A real smile, not a forced, sad one.

“I like your smile.” Even says and pokes his cheek. They fall in silence again.

“You can tell me what he did, if you want to.” Even breaks it after some time.

“Who says it’s his fault?”

“He’s Chris. Of course it’s his fault. Besides you’re out here crying while he’s probably in there partying.” Even nods in the direction of the cabin.”And I doubt you could start a fight.” They might not agree on the reasons for Even to say it’s Chris’ fault but they agree on the fact that it is. That’s at least one thing they have in common.

It’s past the middle of the night, so it’s cold outside and now it starts getting windy as well. There in the woods and Isak is definitely not dressed for this weather. He tries his best to cover his body with his clothes and puts his arms around his upper body to keep himself warm. Isak’s efforts to stay warm don’t go unnoticed:

“Are you cold?” Even asks, then proceeds with taking off his jacket. “Here, take my jacket.”

“But then you’ll be cold.” Isak doesn’t want that. The thought of a warm jacket is alluring but since it’s Even’s, he shouldn’t be cold because of him.

“I’m fine. Take it.” He hands Isak the jacket but the other doesn’t take it. Therefore he places it over Isak’s shoulders himself. Isak pulls the jacket closer, thanks Even and already starts feeling warmer. Neither of them know what to say or do now, so they just sit there silently again.

 

Isak has no clue what time it is, but he likes sitting there with Even. He enjoys the silence; he enjoys the other’s company. He hasn’t thought about Chris for a long time now. He hasn’t thought about the fight. When Even gets up, Isak looks at him.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t feel like sitting here anymore.” Isak hides his disappointment before it shows on his face. “I think I’m going home. Do you want to come with me?” Even shoots him a questioning look. That is definitely nothing Isak expected. “Come on.” Even holds his hand in front of Isak. “You can stay here and wait for your boyfriend to come and tell you how sorry he is, of course, but you’ll probably be here next week. But don’t worry I’ll come to pick you up.” Isak hates Even. He absolutely hates him. And he knows Even is right. Chris would never apologize.

“So? Are you coming with me?” Even still looks at Isak, who actually takes the other’s hand now.  Even pulls Isak up, when Isak stands in front of him, their eyes connect. Even is so close, Isak feels like he can’t breathe.

“Yeah...” Isak mumbles. He wants to break their eye contact but he can’t. By this time his face mirrors Even’s expression, who is smiling. They’re already so close, it shouldn’t be possible for Even to take a step forward, but he does. Isak’s breath quickens, just to stop as soon as Even leans down and kisses him. In contrary to the kisses he shared with Chris tonight, this one is innocent. Almost as fast as Even kissed him his lips are gone. He doesn’t take a step back again; he keeps looking at Isak.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” He says.

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have.” Isak looks up at the other. He liked the kiss. He wants another one. He hopes Even kisses him again. His silent pleading seems to work, because Even leans down for another kiss. A longer, also innocent, but weirdly intense kiss. For a moment Isak’s eyes stick to Even’s swollen lips after they break apart.

“Shall we go?” Unable to speak Isak nods as an answer.

 

They walk through the night (or the morning); eventually they are able to take a train. It is really early, so not many people are on the streets.

When they get off the train Even leads him to his house.

“My parents aren’t home, so we’ll be alone.” It’s the first thing either one of them says since they left the party. Not that Isak replies something. He is too tired for that. On the train he almost fell asleep, cuddled up against Even. Isak gets out of Even’s jacket and hands it to him, the gets off his shoes like Even did too.

Even guides Isak to his room.

“You can have my bed; I’ll sleep on the couch.” Even offers but Isak shakes his head.

“You don’t have to. It’s your bed. Besides it’s big enough for both of us.”

“Okay.” After Even’s approval Isak gets out of his jeans and lies in the bed with the rest of his clothes on. He hardly feels Even lying down next to him, already more asleep than awake.

 

Isak wakes up to an empty bed. He decides to look for Even. When he opens the door, he hears music and walks in the direction where it’s from. This leads him in the kitchen. Even, being busy with frying some eggs doesn’t notice him. Isak watches him cooking and dancing to the music in the radio. A smile crawls on his face.

“Oh, hey. You’re awake.” Even turns to him while dancing and stops immediately. Isak raises his eyebrows and chuckles.  

“Well, I thought you are sleeping.” Even’s cheek redden a bit and Isak’s smile grows.

“You don’t have to stop because of me.” The song on the radio changes.

“Good, ‘cause I love this song.” Even grins and starts dancing around again. Dancingly he walks towards Isak.

“Come on. Dance with me.” He requests.

“No.” Isak doesn’t dance.

“Come on.”

“No.”

“Come on.” Even takes his hands and spins him around.

“Stop that.” Isak presses out between laughers and Even does.

“Fine, I’d like to have breakfast now anyway. I’m hungry.” Isak agrees with him on the last part and they eat.

The morning is great. Isak really likes Even, they have a lot of things in common and Even makes him smile. He might shouldn’t feel they way he does when he’s with Even and he might should think about Chris at least once during the time he spends with Even. But neither of this is his fault. It’s not his fault Even is so nice and it’s also not his fault that Chris isn’t. He spends some hours with Even until he leaves.

 

His phone must have died at some point because he has to plug it in and wait shortly before he can turn it on. When he does, he sees several missed calls and texts from Chris. He swallows hard. It’s almost as if Even’s lips are on his again. Isak starts feeling guilty. He shouldn’t have let Even kiss him. Isak reads the texts Chris sent him.

 

_We have to talk._

_Pick up._

_Pick up._

_Isak._

_We have to talk._

_Pick up, damn._

_Pick your damn phone up._

_ISAK!_

_We have to fucking talk._

_Stop avoiding me._

_Isak._

_PICK UP!_

Isak reads the texts but doesn’t reply. Even was right. Chris didn’t apologize.

 

Apparently Chris is still trying to reach him. His phone buzzes; Chris’ name is shown as the caller id. Isak doesn’t pick up. Chris tries to call him 3 times, then he gives up and sends texts instead.

 

_Fuck. PICK UP._

_You’re not avoiding me, Isak._

_Pick up, damn._

_I know you’re reading this. REPLY._

_Isak._

 

Isak turns his phone off. He falls down on his bed and sighs. Images of the past days, mostly yesterday flash behind his eyes.

 

Even handing him his notebooks.

And: “You have a nice ass.” Chris standing next to him commenting on his ass while Isak picks up his stuff alone.

“You’re hot.” Chris.

And: “I like your smile.” Even.

“You know, I can’t wait to get you out of your clothes later.” Chris talking about undressing Isak.

And: “Here, take my jacket.” Even handing him more clothes to wear when he was cold.

“You’re so annoying.” Chris.

And: “I like you.” Even.

Chris making him cry.

And: “If he makes you cry, he’s a douche.” Even comforting him.

Chris partying, while Isak was outside, being upset over the fight.

And: “You looked upset, so I went after you.” Even going after him and forgetting about the party.

Chris defrosting his lunch for him.

And: Even actually cooking breakfast.

“I’m sorry, Isak. I’m sorry for thinking you could do way better than him.” Even apologizing to him. (By insulting his boyfriend but that’s not the point.)

And: Pick your damn phone up. Stop avoiding me. Chris texting Isak, telling him what to do., not showing any signs of feeling guilty.

 

Isak doesn’t turn his phone again the whole weekend. He’s thinking about Chris and Even. They’re polar opposites and Isak likes them both. Well, he actually loves Chris. The Chris he met months ago. The Chris from Friday is different. Hell, the Chris from the past weeks is different. And Even is sweet. He is nice. He makes Isak smile, even when he’s crying and feels miserable.

He shares no hobbies with Chris. The other mostly wants to party, while Isak prefers staying home and watching Netflix or playing video games. He has things in common with Even. They like the same things.

His friends don’t like Chris, but think Even is cool. They like him.

Isak hates this.

 

He has been with Chris for months. Most of that time was good. The holidays were amazing and he was so excited to go to the same school as Chris. But now something has changed. Their relationship has changed. They have changed.

And maybe Isak doesn’t like these changes.

 

He tries to forget what happened with Even but he can’t. He tries thinking about Chris to get his mind away from Even but every time he does, he starts comparing them.

 

He wants to stay in his room forever. Hide from the world forever. He can’t.

 

Monday he has to go back to school. He can’t hide from Chris anymore. Can’t hide from Even. His friends. From no one anymore.

He arrives at school and is relieved when he neither spots Even nor Chris. Jonas and Eva are already there standing a bit away from other people and Eva waves as soon as she spots him. Isak goes over to them and joins them.

He receives a hug from Eva and Jonas asks him how he is.

“Fine.” Lie. But Isak manages a smile anyways.

“Friday was amazing.” Eva says and Isak tries not to lose his fake smile again.

“The girls agree. They wanted me to thank you again. Especially Vilde.” Eva rolls her eyes but smiles. She likes Vilde even though she thinks she can be annoying sometimes.

“No problem.” At least they enjoyed it. Isak did too. He really did but he should have never gone there. He thinks about Even’s lips on his again. The feeling he gets makes him smile. A real smile. That’s not good.

“Why are you looking like that? Thinking about Chris?” Eva mocks him laughingly and Isak’s smile disappears. No, he wasn’t. But he can’t say that. He is supposed to think about Chris while feeling like this. He only forces a smile again and nods slightly.

Eva’s gaze falls on something behind him. She stares at it and because Jonas does too, Isak turns around.

The moment he spots him, he wishes he didn’t. Even.

Even who looks as good as ever. Or even better.

Even, who is stared at by almost everybody at the schoolyard. People whisper to each other while looking at him.

Even, who is walking in their direction.

 

“Hey.” He says when he stops in front of Isak. He smiles at him and Isak feels himself blush. That’s not good. Not at all.

“Hey.” Isak replies and just stares. For a moment there is silence between them until Jonas and Eva greet Even too. Isak doesn’t know why they don’t question Even being here, but he’s fine with that. That means he doesn’t have to explain it.

“What’s up with all these stares? I didn’t imagine everybody stare at me, right?” Even is still only looking at Isak but when he doesn’t get an answer from him he looks at Eva and Jonas.

“Haven’t you heard? People say somebody saw you kissing a boy you shouldn’t kiss at the party at Friday. Nobody knows who it was but apparently he’s in a relationship.” Isak’s face turns pale.

“Who – who was it?” Isak looks at Eva. His voice is insecure.

“Why do you ask me? Ask him.” She nods towards Even and Isak looks at him.

Even looks equally shocked as Isak but only for a short moment. Then he asks:

“Who would say that?”

“I don’t know. Vilde said Sara talked to an older girl and she heard William telling somebody – this is a quote – ‘Even kissed him. And then they left together.’ She doesn’t know who he was talking to but William said something to the other person like: ‘I know he’s your boyfriend but...’ and then explained to the other person not to freak out. So basically the whole school believes you ruined somebody’s relationship because you fucked with some guy that night.” Eva explains and Isak just feels sick.

William saw them. Of course he told Chris. And now the whole school believes somebody cheated on their partner with Even. Actually had sex with him. Isak fucked up badly here.

 

Suddenly everybody around them goes quiet. Isak turns around to look for the reason and spots William’s car being parked. Of course people react like that. They know William knows more than them and they want to know.

William gets out of the car but he isn’t alone. Chris gets out of the car through the passenger’s door and Isak’s stomach turns.

Both of them are laughing but then Chris looks up. He sees everybody stare at them and the smile fades a bit.

His gaze falls on something and Isak knows exactly on what. Or who. Not him. Even.

His face is suddenly full of anger.

Now he seems to notice Isak standing next to Even for the first time and his expression becomes furious.

Before Isak, before anyone, knows what’s going on, Chris is in front of Even and his fist is in Even’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

Everybody would react as Even is right now. If somebody attacks you, you try to defend yourself. That’s exactly what Even does right now. That he has to do so physically isn’t totally his fault. At first Isak has no clue, what to do, except for staring at the two. Seeing Chris – his boyfriend – act like that feels bad. He has never seen Chris this angry or beating somebody up. Well right now he’s pushing Even, who tries to block Chris.

Chris is shouting, but if somebody asked Isak later, he wouldn’t be able to tell what.

Isak hates it. He is about to say something when Chris raises his fist again and hits Even in the face.

 

“Chris! Oh my God, Chris! Stop it!” Isak tries to pull Chris away from Even. He grabs Chris’ arm, so Chris can’t strike another blow.

“Let go, Isak!” Chris voice is a hiss. He almost sounds dangerous. Almost. Or maybe he does. But not to Isak. He knows Chris would never hurt him.

“So you can fight? No. What’s wrong with you? You can’t just go around beating people up!” Now Isak is the one pushing Chris. Pushing him away from Even.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You’re my boyfriend, Isak. You’re supposed to have my back! Not fuck somebody else behind it!” Isak is shocked by those words. He sees a lot of people gasp. Isak cheating on Chris? They couldn’t see that. They couldn’t picture any of the two cheating on the other, but people thought if one of them cheated, it would be Chris.

“I didn’t fuck anyone. I – “

“Oh. So you let him fuck you? Of course you did.” Chris’ words hurt. Isak can’t remember ever feeling this bad. He wants to correct Chris’ statement, but he also feels the anger building up inside himself.

“Are you serious right now? I didn’t fuck anyone. You’re my boyfriend, Chris. I wouldn’t cheat on you. Do you actually believe I would?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Isak? William saw you two. He saw him kiss you and you letting him.”

“So? Fuck, Chris, it was a kiss. Just a kiss. Nothing else happened.”

“Sure. And you didn’t go home with him either, right? Although William saw you two leave together and no one saw you after that.”

“Nothing happened. Yes, we left together that’s it. There was a kiss but nothing else. I swear. I’m so sorry, Chris.”

“That doesn’t make it right, Isak. I don’t go around and kiss other people. And neither should you!” Isak hates Chris yelling at him. He knows everybody is watching them right now and he doesn’t want this attention.

“Can we please not do this here? Can we talk about this later? Just us?” Isak pleads.

“So now you want to talk? You could have had your talk the past two days, but you didn’t want to talk to me! I bet you were with him, weren’t you?” Chris gets angrier with every word. Isak looks at the ground. He was with Even. On one of the days he was. He feels guilty.

 

“Oh my God. You were with him.” Chris is shocked. He didn’t expect that. “You know what, Isak? Forget about the talk. And forget about our relationship. It’s over!” His voice is dull and with his words Chris turns around and shoves some of the other students watching the scene aside.

“Chris.” Isak runs after him, trying to grab his arm but Chris shakes his hand of. Chris heads for William’s car with the other third year coming after him as fast as he realizes this. Both of them get in the car again and William starts it. He wants to drive away, when Isak finally reached the car as well and opens William’s door.

“Chris, please. I’m sorry.”

“Fuck off!” Chris hisses and someone pulls him away from the car. Jonas. William takes the opportunity to close his door again and drives away.

Isak is on the verge of tears and Jonas notices it. He takes Isak away from the school. Away from the people staring at him.

 

Jonas takes him home. The scene from before seems surreal, but Isak knows it happened. He knows Chris broke up with him for real. He lost Chris. When they arrive at his house the tears start falling down even before Jonas can close the door.

“Isak.” Jonas hugs him.

“I – I love him.” Isak is able to press the words out between two sobs.

“I know.”

 

They spent the morning like this, Isak breaking out in sobs every now and then and Jonas comforting him. They’re sitting on the couch in the living room, when Jonas is comfortable asking Isak what happened. Isak’s last crying attack was over one hour ago, so Isak is actually able to answer:

“At the party on Friday, Chris and I had a fight. At the beginning everything was fine and then he wanted to sleep with me. I mean he was basically trying to undress me between all these people. I told him to stop and when I denied going upstairs with him he got angry. He told me I was a little bitch when it came to having sex with him. Then he went on about how we have all these problems, like not having anything in common, me not telling my parents he’s my boyfriend and you guys not liking him. He said I was ashamed of him! It’s not true, I love him, I- I almost told him. But I didn’t want to say it for the first time when we’re fighting, so I didn’t. I said I liked him and he got angry at that.” At this point it’s difficult for Jonas not to start laughing. He understood Chris about the not telling him he loved him part, but the way Isak made it sound was so funny.

“He told me I was annoying, a kid and he couldn’t deal with me anymore. He told me to grow up. I – I was upset and almost started to cry, so I went outside. Even followed me. He cheered me up, he offered me his jacket and the he asked me weather I wanted to go home with him.” Jonas raises his eyebrows.

“Not what you think! Well he kissed me before we left. Twice to be exact but the first kiss was just a second or so. William must have seen us kissing and he told Chris.” Isak finishes his story and looks at Jonas. If he’s judging him, he doesn’t show it.

 

“But you spend the weekend with Even?”

“Saturday I did. I slept at his place after the party, the next morning he made us breakfast and I stayed for a while. We just talked. Nothing happened.” Isak explained.

“But did you want something to happen?” Isak doesn’t answer. Maybe that is the answer to the question. Jonas sighs.

“Oh, Isak. Sorry for saying it like that but you fucked up.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Isak shoots him a devastated look.

“I just don’t get why Even. Have you guys ever talked before?” Isak shakes his head but corrects himself immediately:

“He came up to me at school on Wednesday. He started talking to me and helped me pick up my stuff. That’s it though.”

“Okay. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“If you weren’t with Chris, or weren’t with Chris back then, would you have gone further with Even?”

“After the party? No, I was too tired for that.”

“Okay, but what if you would have been single and not tired. Would you have?” Isak thinks about it shortly, then denying it again:

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” Isak doesn’t know where this is going.

“Because I like him. I don’t want him to be just some guy I had sex with once.” Jonas looks pleased with the answer.

“There you have it.”

“What?” Isak repeats his words in his head and – “Oh.”

“Isak, it’s fine.”

“But Chris-“

“Chris broke up with you.”

“But I love him.” The sobs start again.

“I know.” Jonas pulls him closer.

 

Isak can’t sleep that night. He thinks about Chris. He looked hurt when he figured out Isak spent time with Even on the weekend. He mainly looked angry, but Isak knows Chris well enough that the sad look meant more than the angry one. Chris looks angry often. Chris is angry often. He has never seen Chris sad.

Isak pulls his phone out and texts Chris.

 

_Can we talk?_

He gets no reply.

 

Isak scrolls up and looks at the last texts Chris sent him.

Chris telling Isak to pick his phone up.

Telling him to stop avoiding him.

Chris clearly being angry.

Chris not apologizing.

Isak gets it now.

Chris knew.

Chris knew about the kiss.

Of course he didn’t apologize.

He was angry.

Angry at Isak.

Angry because Isak kissed somebody else.

Kissed Even.

Or Even kissed him. But that doesn’t matter. Not anymore.

He just wants Chris back.

 

Friday was bad. But it was an exception. They never fought before. They were happy. Isak had been happy since the day he met Chris. Since Friday he isn’t anymore.

 

Isak remembers the day he first met Chris. Chris was nice, he flirted with Isak, who, still being 15 back then, was with Jonas and Eva. The couple was all lovey-dovey and Isak was annoyed. He liked Eva but ever since Jonas broke up with Ingrid for her Eva didn’t have any friends, so she was always with them. Isak has always liked Eva more than Ingrid, but sometimes he wanted to spend time with his best friend without her. Like before.

They went to this café, got coffees from the counter and sat down. Eva and Jonas had been touching the whole time since they picked Eva up and Isak couldn’t have that anymore. He was sitting in front of them, facing the door. He looked outside to get his mind away from the disgustingly cute couple when two boys came in. Isak could tell they were older than him. One of them caught his eye instantly. Isak knew he was staring but he couldn’t care less.

The boys walked towards the counter to get something to drink themselves and when they walked past the table on which Isak, Jonas and Eva were sitting the hot one looked at Isak and smirked. Isak getting caught made him turn away immediately and he was also blushing.

“Isak, are you okay?” Eva asked him in that moment and suddenly he was glad she was there.

“Sure.” He was fine, just embarrassed.

The counter being behind Isak he felt a mixture between disappointment and happiness.

Disappointment because he couldn’t see the guy anymore and happiness because he couldn’t see him anymore. Isak would’ve liked to look at the boy longer, but he made such a fool out of himself that he was glad he didn’t have to see the other’s face.

 

The boys received their order and Isak was torn between wanting them to drink it there and taking it with them. Haft of Isak was happy when they sat down on a table near Isak and his friends. Isak was really lucky (or not) that day, since the hot one of them sat down facing Isak, his friend on the other side of the table.

The other two had just sat down when Isak met the hot one’s eyes. He started grinning at him and this time even winked. Isak’s face reddened straightaway and he had to look down. A second later he looked through his lashes to see the stranger still looking at him.

“Seriously, Isak. What’s up with you?” This time Jonas was the one noticing Isak acted weird.

“Nothing. Everything’s fine.” Isak looked back to the older boy, to find his gaze already on Isak. When he saw Isak looking back he licked his lips. Isak’s mouth opened slightly and, given how pleased the other was, he probably blushed once again.

“What are you looking at?” Jonas asked and turned around. Eva being totally nosy, she did too. The stranger raised his eyebrows at that and sent him a questioning look.

“You’re staring at him?” Jonas figured it out. Fortunately Isak told them about him being gay already; otherwise this conversation could have been really weird. Even weirder than it was.

Jonas and Eva smiled at him. Isak had never had a crush on anyone, at least they didn’t know about it. It was exciting for them to see what Isak’s type was.

“He’s cute.” Now Eva was the one being stared at by Jonas and Isak.

“What? Just an objective observation.” She defended herself. Isak sighed. He didn’t want to have such a conversation right now. He’d actually prefer them to start being all lovey-dovey again. But neither Eva nor Jonas wanted to do so, they wanted to interrogate Isak instead. Isak didn’t like that. He answered their questions vaguely, before deciding he didn’t want to anymore and telling them he needed to go.

“All of a sudden?” Eva was disappointed but they let him go.

Isak literally fled out of the cafe, with a last look at the handsome stranger.

 

“Can’t take your eyes of me, can you?” A voice appeared behind him, after he walked some meters away. He didn’t recognize the voice and when he turned around he saw no other than the guy from inside standing there. The guy was smirking again and Isak was unable to look away.

“So, do you have a name?” Isak didn’t realize he should answer that until the other spoke again. “Or shall I call you cute-coffee-shop-guy-who-keeps-staring-at-me?” the other chuckled and Isak got really nervous.

“Uhm...” Isak didn’t know how to respond.

“I’m Chris.” The other introduced himself.

“Isak.” He replied.

“So he speaks! Great. Nice to meet you.” Isak fell for the smile he was sent. He liked that look on the other.

The other guy – Chris – shot a look inside the building they just came out of, before he said:

“Give me your phone.” Not knowing where exactly this was going Isak, handed Chris his phone. Just to have it handed back right away.

“Can you unlock it?” Isak nodded and did as he was asked. He gave it back to Chris who typed on it.

“Just text me later, okay? My friend’s going to kill me when I’ll talk to you longer.” Isak nodded, not understanding what it meant, he took back his phone and watched Chris wink at him and going back in the café.

Isak looked down on his phone which showed a newly added contact: Hot Café Guy

He smiled.

That was the first time he met Chris, but Isak likes to count their following texts in it as well.

It was dark outside when Isak sent his first text. He had stared at his phone screen more than once but he had been too nervous and too scared to text Chris.

He couldn’t decide on what to write either, but eventually he texted him:

 

  _Hey, this is Isak._

 

He couldn’t go wrong with that.

 

_Isak?_

 

Isak’s heart stopped beating. Chris didn’t remember him. Wow. They had met some hours ago and Chris already forgot about him.

 

_Oh. You mean cute-coffee-shop-guy-who-keeps-staring-at-me._

 

Isak was relieved. Chris remembered him.

 

_Took you long enough._

 

_Sorry._

_Don’t be. You texted now, that’s all that matters._

Isak had no clue how to respond to that.

 

_So what are you doing tomorrow?_

 

He didn’t have to reply anything, because Chris sent another text.

 

_Nothing._

 

Probably the most boring answer ever, but true.

 

_Wrong. You’re meeting me._

 

And... oh. Isak was fine with that. He didn’t make it that obvious though.

 

_With you?_

_Yeah. At 14:30? Same café as today?_

Isak was excited and agreed.

 

_Great. See you there._

Isak sent a thumb up back.

 

_And you don’t have to pretend not to have dreamt about me that night ;)_

_What?_

_Well, I’ll dream about you._

 

Isak looked at that text; he had no fitting reply, so he didn’t send one.

 

Isak received a text the next morning, wishing him a good morning and Chris telling him he was excited to see him later.

When they met, they got along great. Chris made him laugh, smile, blush, happy. They had fun, Chris was the one who paid for their coffees, Chris flirted with him and made Isak compliments. In less than three hours Isak’s crush on the other got even stronger. He started to fall in love with Chris.

That day Chris drove him home. In the moment Chris guided him to his car, Isak asked himself how old Chris was. He figured no one could answer that better than Chris, so he asked him:

“How old are you? I mean when you’re allowed to drive...”

“Just turned 18.” Isak swallowed. He was over two years younger than Chris. Hopefully this wouldn’t be a problem.

“What about you?” Chris asked curiously.

“I’ll be 16 soon.” In Isak’s head this sounded better than ‘I’m 15’. It still did when he said it.

“So you’re 15? Oh. Didn’t expect that.” At first Isak though it was a problem for him but Chris just changed the topic. Isak guided him to his house and when they reached it, Chris turned the car off and looked at Isak.

“I’ll see you again, right?” If Isak didn’t know better, he would say Chris was insecure. But why would he? He was hot, nice, older than him and Isak was clearly smitten.

“Yeah. If- if you want to...” If Chris was insecure, he didn’t know how to describe himself.

“Great.” Chris smiled at him and Isak’s heart started to beat faster. The other put a hand on his cheek and Isak stopped breathing. Chris leaned in and a second later Isak felt his soft lips. Something inside Isak exploded. Isak bad never kissed another boy before. He had known he’s gay for a long time, but he never acted on it. In contrary, he kissed a lot of girls before. But this kiss was different. It was innocent, just lips against lips, no tongues involved, yet it made Isak feel so much more than all other kisses he had in his life combined.

They broke apart after a short time and the way Chris smiled made him smile as well. He was happy, he had never been that happy before, and it showed on his face. He didn’t know where this was going, but Isak didn’t care in that moment. He was happy and that was all that mattered.

“I should –“ Isak pointed to the house to tell Chris he had to leave.

“Yeah. Probably.” Neither Isak nor Chris wanted Isak to get out off the car, but he had to. His hand was on the door, he was ready to open it when Chris said his name. Isak turned around again to face Chris and the other put a hand under his chin. Chris leaned in again and pecked his lips. They smiled at the other a last time, before Isak got out of the car and they said their goodbyes.

That was their first date. Chris was the only thing Isak was able to think about the rest of the day. After this he changed Chris’ contact name in his phone to: Chris. Simple but better than Hot Café Guy.

 

However they weren’t officially dating. They kissed and Isak liked it. On the following Monday Isak had to explain everything that happened to Jonas and Eva. They texted him a couple of times but Isak didn’t reply. In school he had to talk to them. They – especially Eva – demanded information about his date and Isak had to tell them about it in detail. After he finished Eva asked him what this made them. Isak had no answer. He received cute text by Chris on the weekend but nothing that defined what they were.

 

The story about how they got together is weird. Well actually it’s not. It was a coincidence that made them talk about it. A stupid one. So, pretty cliché. But William being the reason why they talked about it is weird.

Isak and Chris spent the afternoon together when Chris’ phone suddenly went off.

“William.” Chris was annoyed as he answered it.

“I can’t right now.” He said after listening for a minute or so.

“Can’t you do that alone?” Listening again.

“But – I can’t. Ask one of the others.” William on the phone said something.

“No. Ask someone else.” Chris was getting more and more annoyed.

“I’m with Isak.” When the other on the phone spoke again Chris was really pissed.

“He’s not...” Listening.

“No. I’m too-“ Listening.

“Shut up!” Yes, Chris was so pissed. Isak knew he shouldn’t smile because of that but he kind of thought the way Chris was looking at him – totally annoyed – was funny.

“I told you, William, he’s not my boyfriend.” Chris said and well, Isak would lie if he said that didn’t hurt. The smile suddenly disappeared. He knew they never talked about what they were but hearing Chris say that hurt.

“I- yeah. Ask him.” Chris was listening again; while he did he started to look shocked.

“Oh. Shit! If that messed it up, it’s your fault.” Chris didn’t bother listening to whatever William replied, he just hung up.

“I’m sorry. William wanted me to help with something.” He explained to Isak who got oddly sad.

“Oh. Shall - shall I leave?” Isak hoped Chris would say no.

“Why?” Chris looked completely confused.

“If you need to help William...”

“I said he wanted me to help him, not that I will.” He smiled at Isak which led to Isak’s knees getting weak.

“I just thought-“ Isak had no clue what he thought. Or well he did, but Chris didn’t need to know about Isak being sad over the fact that Chris said he wasn’t his boyfriend.

“You can stay. I don’t mind it.” He didn’t mind it. Isak wasn’t sure how to take that comment. Didn’t Chris care about whether Isak stayed or went home? Was Isak so wrong when he thought the thing between them wasn’t a casual hook up?

“Wait. That came out wrong.” I want you to go. Isak completed in his head.

“I want you to stay.” What? So Isak wasn’t wrong?

“I mean, what I just said to William, about you – us – I don’t know... I didn’t really mean it. Sometimes he just annoys me so much. So this was just an automatic reply. When I said you weren’t my boyfriend, I mean. I know we didn’t really talk about it and I don’t know how you see it, but I thought-“ Did this mean what Isak thought it meant? What Isak wanted it to mean?

“I’d like that too.” Isak interrupted and Chris’ face lit up.

That day Chris’ contact name changed from Chris to Chris<3.

 

They spent Isak’s 16th birthday together. Like the whole day. Isak spent the night at Chris’ and the next day Isak stayed. Well they didn’t spent the whole day together actually since Isak had to go home, because his parents insisted on him being home shortly on his birthday. So they spent the whole day except for three hours together. As soon as he was free to leave again he went straight back to Chris.

However he wasn’t just greeted by Chris. William was there too. He had only seen William at the café once, never again after that. Chris told him a lot about his best friend but they had never met before. Isak had the feeling they wouldn’t get along.

Fortunately this disaster only lasted for less than half an hour. The awkward encounter was interrupted by the door bell ringing and after Chris opened the door, Isak found himself in front of none other than Jonas and Eva. The two wished him a Happy Birthday and Eva literally tried to suffocate him with her hug. Through them Isak found out that Chris planned some kind of surprise party for him, so not soon after Isak was in the middle of a crowd of people who he knew less than a quarter of. Judging that most people looked older than him those had to be Chris’ friends and other people from his school. Isak didn’t know whether he liked it.

Throughout the whole night Chris only left his side to get them something new to drink. Isak liked that. He kissed him, tried to introduce him to as many of his friends – as his boyfriend – as possible and made sure Isak enjoyed the night. Isak did but despite Chris’ effort he liked the part of the night where he fell asleep in Chris’ arms, while Chris whispered sweet nothings in his ear, the most.

 

And now, now Chris hates him. Hates him because Isak kissed somebody else. The second boy he ever kissed. Even.

 

He cries himself to sleep that night.

 

The next day he goes to school again.

Chris is there.

Even is there.

He talks to neither of them.

He feels the stares on him, when he arrives and this feeling doesn’t go away. Everybody at school was there yesterday or has heard about it.

Even’s eye turned into a different colour and Isak feels sorry for him. It’s his fault. Everybody else feels sorry for Chris.

Chris gets pitying looks; Even and Isak get different ones.

The other Penetrators look angry at them; William shoots them death glares.

From others he sometimes receives disgusted looks. He has a feeling those are the people who had something similar happening to them.

 

But there are others as well.

His friends don’t judge him.

He had a third year girl, one of Chris’ many hook ups from the time before they started dating, approaching him as soon as he got to the school and telling him he was lucky not to have to be bothered about Chris anymore. Added to that Even was nicer anyway.

He had other, mainly one sided, conversations like that.

At the end of the day he was used to second and third years coming up to him, who were either one of the many people Chris left behind with a broken heart or had a friend who was. All of them told him he was better than Chris, the ones who knew Even mentioning how Even was better than Chris. The ones not knowing Even personally told him Even was way hotter than Chris.

He doesn’t want to hear that. He doesn’t want people talking badly about Chris; he doesn’t want people telling him that Even is better than Chris. This also reminds him of how many people Chris has hooked up with before they met. He doesn’t like that. It hurts.

Sure, it’s nice to know not everybody hates him or whatever, but he’d prefer people not talking about it at all.

“Next week no one will care anymore. There will be something else everybody talks about.” Jonas tells him, when Isak complains.

He’s probably right but Isak wants next week to be now.

 

Next week comes indeed. By that time no one really cares about Isak and Chris anymore.

Isak still hasn’t talked to Chris or Even.

He tried. He texted Chris, called him and never got a reply.

At school he wanted to talk to him but Chris is always surrounded by William and several other Penetrators who discourage Isak with their stares.

He doesn’t talk to Even and since he doesn’t have his number he can neither text nor call him. If he had Even’s number he wouldn’t call him either, so he’s not bothered by that.

 

After a month it hurts less. He’s fine with seeing Chris at school, he stopped calling and texting him a while ago and doesn’t question what Chris is doing all the time.

Isak still avoids Even, he doesn’t know why, he likes him and, they might have only spent some hours together, but Isak thinks he can say this, they could be great friends. He kind of misses him.

But other than that, Isak is fine.

Until this one damn Saturday.

He meets with the boys and Eva, who has bad news for him.

“Isak what would you do if Chris has moved on?”

“What?” Four pairs of eyes lay on Eva.

“Well, the girls and I went to this Penetrator party yesterday and Vilde saw Chris hooking up with this girl...” Isak knew this would happen eventually but he didn’t expect it to be that soon.

 

On Monday at school Isak talks to Even. He apologizes for what Chris did and the unwanted attention he received because of him. Even wouldn’t be Even if he had a grudge against Isak, so they’re fine. They exchange phone numbers. Chris sees them.

 

From that day on Eva tells Isak about Chris new, often several new, hook up of the weekend, regularly. However Isak is fine. He stills gets jealous hearing about those but Even makes jokes when Isak tells him about it and he’s fine.

 

Even takes a bigger part in his life every day. They spend time together before school, during the breaks and after school. They meet every weekend, sometimes Isak stays at Even’s place for the night, sometimes they meet with Isak’s other friends. Or with Even’s.

They figured out Even is friends with Sana’s brother and because Eva knows Sana they all meet up from time to time. Isak likes it. He even likes Noora’s flatmates, not that he can say too much about Linn.

Sometimes hearing about Chris hooking up with someone else, or seeing pictures of it, still hurts, but since Even introduced him to his theory that got better:

“You don’t think it’s weird how every time he hooks up with someone Eva or someone else you know sees him?”

 

Even became a friend to Isak the past months. He helped him getting over Chris and Isak just enjoys spending time with him. Though there is still one topic Isak avoids. The kiss at the party, the reason Isak and Chris broke up. Even doesn’t mention it either, they both pretend it never happened.

 

Sometimes Isak sees Chris staring at him at school. He can’t point out the exact day he stopped wanting to get up, run over to Chris and kiss him. Have Chris back as his boyfriend. But it stopped. At some point in the past months it stopped. Probably it was a slow process, this desire getting less and less every day until it was gone. Isak being Isak he just didn’t notice it getting less.

He also didn’t notice Chris going through some changes. It takes Chris actually smiling at him at school once for him to think about the fact that he hasn’t heard about Chris hooking up with someone for weeks. When Chris smiles at him he is so shocked, he could only look at him with an open mouth.

 

He stands there still totally stunned, when Even comes up to him.

“Are you okay?”

“Chris smiled at me.” Isak blares out. Even seems to be equally surprised by that but there is something else up with him, Isak can tell.

“So that means?” That is a good question and Isak answers it honestly:

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think he wants to get back with you again?” Even asks and Isak can’t get rid of the feeling that Even is weird today.

“No.” Isak doesn’t.  He doubts there will ever be a chance this could happen.

“Do... Do you want to get back together with him?”

“No, definitely not.” Isak surprises himself with the certainty of this statement. Even smiles at him.

“Good.” At first Isak is totally confused, then he remembers the fact that Even hates Chris.

Isak sighs.

“I still don’t get why you hate him that much.” Even shrugs.

 

He spends the day with Even. They play video games or just sit next to each other without talking. That’s something he can do with Even. Not doing anything without getting bored. When Isak opens his mouth to break the silence, he says something he didn’t plan on saying:

“What do you think Chris smiling at me means?” Even is surprised by those words, Isak is as well. Even doesn’t answer immediately, instead he lets his upper body fall down on Isak’s bed until he is lying on it, with his feet still on the floor. Isak does the same.

“I don’t know. Maybe he wants you to be a couple again, maybe he misses you. Maybe he only wants you two to be friendly with each other. Maybe he realized you’re too precious to lose completely. I don’t know.” They fall in silence again, looking at the other. Isak can’t read Even’s expression, no matter how hard he tries.

“I just, I want to explain it to him, you know. I never had the chance to. William told him about the kiss” Isak is surprised he can talk about it so easily “and when I tried to talk to him, he didn’t want it. But I still feel like I have to explain it. I don’t want to start dating again but I don’t want to lose him forever. There is a reason I liked – loved – him, several reasons actually, though you won’t get them, so I’d like to be at least on good terms with him.”

Even reaches out to touch Isak’s cheek.

“I get it. I might not get why it had to be him but I get it. Sometimes you like somebody and when you can’t have them, you want them to recognize you.”

“Yeah, but I don’t love Chris anymore. Sure sometimes I miss him but it’s not because of that. We were good, you know. We had fun. Sometimes I miss that. I miss him; he’s different than you, Jonas, Magnus, Mahdi, my other friends in general. Sometimes I miss Chris being Chris.”

“I know. You loved him, you still like him and not having him at all is worse than having a little of him. ‘Cause then you think he hates you, what he probably did at some point. You ask yourself whether he’ll ever forgive you and you want to talk to him so bad, but he clearly doesn’t, so you don’t do anything. This leads to you missing him more, but you know you can’t have him. It hurts but you don’t go up to him to talk to him, because that could make it worse.” That sums up Isak’s feelings of the past months perfectly. He wants to talk to Chris, but he thinks Chris will only hate him more if he does. However something about the way Even looks at him while saying that makes him wonder. Even looks almost sad.

“Yeah, that’s it. And now, I don’t want him back anymore. I think I missed that chance anyway, but I miss him. I still am truly sorry about what happened. I still feel guilty.” It feels good to get that of his chest. Even looks him in the eyes, his gaze gets soft, he pulls Isak in a hug and replies:

“I know.”

 

“Noora is dating William?” That was news to Isak. He hasn’t known they even talk.

“Yeah. They got together at the weekend.” Eva confirms what she just told them.

“Noora and William?” Isak still can’t see that.

“Yeah. You can believe me.” Eva chuckles.

“But- When?”

“I just told you, on the weekend.”

“Yeah but- I mean... Why?” Isak can’t understand. Noora is nice, she’s actually pretty cool. And William? Not so much.

“They probably like each other.” Jonas seems to be more okay with the idea of them dating.

“But. It’s William!”

“And you dated Chris. Most people wouldn’t understand that either.” Isak stared at his best friend for a second.

“I told you he’s not like that! I wouldn’t have dated him if he were!” Isak feels like he has to defend Chris. Even months after the breakup he does. People, including hi friends, always seem to hate on Chris for no reason and Isak hates that. After all this time he still likes him. What Jonas says next gets Isak thinking:

“Maybe that’s the same with William.” And well, maybe it is. If there was one thing he didn’t understand while dating Chris, it would be Chris’ and William’s friendship. He just didn’t get it. Maybe the reason for that was him not trying to get to know William at all, maybe it was William not trying to either (It was both actually.) but they never really got along. They were friendly with each other, however they weren’t friends. For Isak William was his boyfriend’s best friend, for William he was his best friend’s boyfriend. Nothing more.

“Maybe.”

“Trust me; Noora wouldn’t date William if he were like we think he is.” Eva throws in. She’s probably right. Noora is one of her best friends after all.

“Whatever. What are you doing after school?” Isak has no plans and he doesn’t feel like spending the day alone.

“Do you want to do something with us?” Jonas looks at him, then at Eva and says to her:

“Now he wants to do something with us. For weeks we were hardly included in his plans and if we were we had to push him to do something with us and now he’s asking us.” They both laughed while Isak was looking at them annoyed.

“That’s not true.”

“But it is! Now it’s mostly you and Even doing stuff together. We only see you at school or when you’re with him.” Isak wants to disagree right away but Jonas words make him think about it and after only some seconds he has to admit – though he hates to do so – that Jonas is right.

“See? You don’t even try to deny it, because you know it’s true.” Jonas tries to sound accusing but fails miserably. Isak rolls his eyes before e answers:

“So? Are we doing something together?”

“Sure. What do you have in mind?”

Isak doesn’t have anything in mind.

“I thought... maybe you have an idea.”

“Well I know a party we could go to tonight.” Eva says and both Jonas and Isak agree on going there.

“Then we’ll meet at my house. I think the girls will come as well. Then we can go together. Well Noora didn’t know if she and William will come as well but we’ll see that tonight. But for now I think I’ll go home. See you tonight.” Eva kisses Jonas and hugs Isak before she disappears.

 

“Since the party isn’t until tonight, do you want to go home with me to pay video games?” Jonas offers and Isak is fast to nod.

Jonas’ home is empty. None of his family members are there, so they have the place to themselves. Isak doesn’t mind that.

Isak follows Jonas in the living room, where Jonas turns on the TV and the console. Soon after they’re deep in a match of Fifa.

Isak loses the first time. And well... almost all other times after that.

“Can I ask you something?” Jonas speaks up after he won what they decided was their last match.

“You already did, so sure.”

“It’s just... About Even. I don’t understand what the thing you have is.”

“We don’t have a thing.” Isak says, but he isn’t so sure whether that is actually true.

“Are you sure? To me it seems like you behave like a couple. Just without the kissing and the sex.” Jonas explains and Isak knows what he means. He has thought the exact same thing before.

“I- I don’t know, okay? I feel like- If I – we – would start dating it feels like Chris was right. About Even. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be that guy.”

“You mean the guy who hooked up with somebody else while being in a relationship? ‘Cause, Isak, I think you already are. You kissed Even, or he kissed you. I don’t care. But that doesn’t mean you have to act like that now. If you want to be with Even, go for it. It doesn’t matter what others think, does it? Besides, I doubt Chris really cares anymore.” Jonas’ last sentence catches Isak’s attention.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, he is kind of different than he was after your break up. I think he’s over it. And you should be too. So II guess it’s the right time to start a new relationship if you like Even like that.” Isak has to think about that for a moment, when he remembers he hasn’t told Jonas one thing that happened a short while ago.

“Chris smiled at me couple of days ago. In the hallway at school.”  Jonas looks at him and at the last part he starts smiling.

“See! I told you he’s over it. Maybe that was his way of showing you he is. Maybe he wanted to tell you he’s okay. Maybe that’s his way of telling you, you can date someone else without hurting him or whatever. Maybe he shows you, you two are fine. That he doesn’t hate you.” Isak nods.

“That’s what Even says as well. That he doesn’t hate me, I mean.”

“You talked about that to Even before you talked to me? Why am I not surprised by that? But Isak seriously. What do you feel for Even?”

“I don’t know. I want him to be around, you know? I want to spend time with him. I like to hug him, cuddle with him. I wouldn’t mind kissing him – I want him to kiss me again. But I can’t want that.”

“Why not, Isak? If he makes you happy-“

“I just can’t. Okay? I can’t. I can’t be the guy who dumps his boyfriend for someone else.”

“You’re not. Chris broke up with you.”

“Because Even kissed me!”

“Yeah and that was months ago! You and Chris are over. You have been for months. Besides, if you like Even it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, does it? You also never cared about what people thought while you were dating Chris, so where’s the difference? If it makes you happy, go for it.” Jonas’ words give Isak something to think. He knows Jonas is right, but it feels weird. He feels weird about admitting his feeling for Even. He always tells himself – and others – that Even is a friend. Just a friend. But he knows that’s not true. When Even’s close to him, his heart starts beating faster,

“I... I can’t. I don’t even know whether Even feels the same.” Isak looks desperately at Jonas, who just laughs at that.

“Seriously, Isak? Where the fuck have you been living? Why do you think-“ He groans “Just talk to him. Tonight. You have to finally talk to him.”

“No, I can’t!” Isak has been telling Jonas that for the past minutes, so he hoped Jonas would understand by now.

“Isak, come on. You have to. Just-just do it, okay? Promise me.” He tells Isak to do and, although Isak is sure he won’t, he nods. Maybe Jonas will stop demanding things he has no clue about now.

“Good. But you actually have to do it. I will find out if you don’t” Isak almost feels guilty at his pan not to talk to Even. Almost.

After this talk they decide Isak should go home, so they can both get ready for the party and agree on meeting at Eva’s.

 

Freshly showered and in different clothes than he wore to school he finds himself on his way to Eva.

“There you are, Isak!” Eva giggles when she opens the door and hugs him tightly. Something tells Isak she has already had some alcohol.

“Hey” Jonas appears behind Eva. After greeting both of them Isak suggest going to the party, which takes place at a second year’s place.

When they arrive there they make their way through partying teenagers to the living room, where they find several familiar faces sitting on the couch.

Neither Chris nor William are there (Or anyone in their bus.). Noora isn’t there either, although the rest of their friends are. Their friends including Vilde and Magnus (Who sit way too close to each other to just be friends.), Chris and Sana (Who Eva approaches immediately (While shrieking and dragging Jonas after her) and hugging (Or falling onto) them.), Mahdi, Elias and his other friends and – of course – Even.

Even, whose face lights up when he spots them.

Even, whose stupid smile makes Isak smile as well.

Even, who sits closer to Chris next to him, so Isak has place to fit on the couch. He sits down next to him. Even casually wraps his arms around Isak’s shoulders and Isak would lie if he said he doesn’t like that. Even holds a beer in the hand that isn’t on Isak’s shoulder, holds it in front of Isak’s face and offers him a sip. Isak takes the bottle, takes a large sip, before looking at Even, who’s facing him.

Even smiles at him and Isak would love to get this smile of his face. With a kiss. To stop himself from doing something stupid, he holds the bottle between them and thanks Even. Even looks at him, before taking back the bottle without breaking their eye contact. His gaze makes Isak throat dry, so he swallows hard. Since it doesn’t get better, he turns to his other friends; just to find out they mostly disappeared in the sort moment Isak was distracted.

The only ones who are still with them are Sana and Yousef and well, that won’t help him either, judging by Yousef’s heart eyes. He looks around the room, to see were the others went. He finds Mahdi and Chris on their way to the kitchen, guesses that’s where most of the alcohol is stored; he may have seen the edge of Elias’ head – with no sign of his friends. He hears Vilde’s laugh from somewhere next to him, when he turns in the direction where it came from he sees her and Magnus kind of dancing but mostly talking or flirting or whatever they want to call it. He wants to look back at Even (All Isak’s turning made him take away his arm.), but his eyes meet someone else’s before.

Jonas.

He is dancing with Eva, while mouthing to him.

‘Talk to him.’

Jonas definitely planned this.

 

He turns to look at Even, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Can we talk?” Isak’s voice is quiet, the music loud, so it shouldn’t be surprising Even didn’t hear him. Even raises his eyebrows and his lips form a word that looks like ‘What?’. Isak rolls his eyes, grabs Even’s hand and leads him outside.

“We need to talk.” He says as soon as they’re outside. Even’s face falls. He looks - for a lack of a better word – scared.

“About what?”

“About what? Are you kidding me? About this.” Isak points from Even to himself and back to Even again.

“What is there to talk about?” Even asks carefully.

“What is there-?” This guy is unbelievable. “You are unbelievable!”

“Why? I just don’t understand.”

“Fuck. This. This is fucking confusing! I can’t deal with it anymore! I can’t keep cuddling with you. I can’t have you be so nice all the time. I just can’t keep doing this!” Even’s face falls more with every word that leaves Isak’s mouth.

“Oh. You- you could have told me you don’t want that. You could have told me to stop.” Even sounds so sad and Isak hates himself for – obviously – hurting him.

“But that’s the problem. I don’t want it to stop.  I want it. I- I want to kiss you, to hold your hand.” After Isak’s second sentence Even’s face started to light up again. He takes a step closer, so he can put a hand on Isak’s cheek.

“Hey, I don’t want it to stop either.” Even says softly. He leans down and finally Isak has his lips on his own again. This feeling was something Isak was craving for so long and finally having it again felt surreal. Isak has thought about this moment once or twice – or more often – he imagined how this will go down, how it’ll feel. But he has to admit: None of his dreams came close to this. Reality felt so much better.

The kiss was similar to their second and also last kiss. Soft, innocent. However this one was also craving, hungry for more. They break apart and for a second neither of them reacts. Then - nearly at the same time – they start smiling. Even’s hand is still on Isak’s cheek, they look into the other’s eyes, then Isak grabs Even’s shirt and pulls him even closer again.

Their lips meet and this time Isak forgets everything else. The kiss is hungry, rough, and greedy. Even’s tongue steals its ways into Isak’s mouth and Isak hardly registers it’s the first time this happens. Even’s hands grab Isak’s hair and Isak pulls the other closer by his hip.

When Even breaks the kiss, Isak whines.

“I think it’s better if we leave.” Even says, doesn’t wait for and answer but takes Isak’s hand and pulls him after him.

Isak lets Even lead him away from the party.

 

He takes Isak home with him, doesn’t stop to put off his shoes, but walks straight in his room, where he collapses onto his bed, pulling Isak with him. Isak falls on Even, they both start to giggle, Isak’s face buried at the side of Even’s face. Even wraps his arm around Isak’s back and they both just enjoy lying there for a moment. Isak enjoys the warmth of the other body, Even’s arms around him, Even’s smell. He tries to look at Even’s face, which is impossible from his position, so he decides to change it slightly.

He puts his hands next to both sides of Even’s face, his body above Even’s and his face in front of Even’s. One of Even’s hands slides onto his lower back, while Even lays the other on Isak’s cheek, his thumb slowly caressing it.

Isak leans down, kissing Even again and the hand moves to his neck. Isak loves this. He loves this kiss, having Even so close to him and being able to touch him.

They share a lot of kisses that night. A lot of touches. Soft and almost innocent touches, since they don’t go further than kissing.

They lie on Even’s bed, cuddle, touch, kiss and talk. That’s it. Nothing more. Isak wouldn’t want to change that for a second.

 

It’s the morning after the party. Well the afternoon after the party and Isak still lies in Even’s bed. Even lies next to him, they cuddle, share small kisses and subtle touches.

“Even?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you tell me now why Chris and you hate each other so much? Jonas told me a little and I think I get that but he also mentioned your relationship getting worse at the beginning of the school year.” Isak is really interested in that.

“You honestly haven’t figured it out yourself?” Even asks instead of answering the question. How should Isak have figured it out? He kisses Isak’s cheek and explains:

“I’ve never liked Chris and he didn’t like me. Sometimes we clashed but it wasn’t bad. Well one time I went to a party and I ended up making out with this guy. Later I found out Chris had an eye on him as well. Since that party, I don’t know, it felt like we always competed about who hooked up with the hotter person. Sometimes I was talking to someone and the moment I went away to get a new drink or sometimes just looked away, Chris was there. He was the one who ended up hooking up with them, not me. So after some time I started doing the same. This went on for almost two years. I remember going to his 18th birthday party with some friends and maybe I ended up making out with this guy I knew Chris wanted since our first year. And maybe we hooked up in his bedroom. I think you can imagine how pissed he was when he walked in on us.” Oh yes, Isak can. Hooking up with someone Chris also liked, okay, it doesn’t seem to be the first time Even did this, but on his birthday party? In his room? That was a totally different story.

“Well, I can’t say I’m proud of this. Mainly because I didn’t care about the other guy. Sure, neither did Chris. He just wanted to hook up with him, but I actually didn’t want this either. I just wanted to piss off Chris. Shortly after Chris didn’t go to a different party every weekend and I heard rumours about him being in a relationship. At first I didn’t believe these rumours, I mean Chris, the guy who has hooked up with dozens of people, being in a relationship? I couldn’t see that. Until I heard William and some other Penetrators talk about it. So Chris didn’t go to parties every week anymore. And when he did he didn’t hook up or flirt with anyone. He was on his phone almost all the time texting somebody.” That was Isak. He remembers Chris going to parties without him because Isak didn’t want to tag along. Chris asked him every time but Isak never said yes. That only changed during the holidays but he didn’t go to a lot of parties. When Chris was at parties he always texted Isak, which lead to Isak asking himself why Chris went to them if he just texted him. He could have done that from his room as well.

“I guess the person he texted was you. I realized Chris changed and since he didn’t hook up with anyone I did neither. Then, at the first day of this school year, I saw this new boy, a first year. I thought he’s cute. I stared at him longer than I want to admit. He was with some of his friends and didn’t notice me, even though I know two of his friends did. A boy and a girl. They saw me looking at the boy and when I realized I got caught I looked away quickly. They didn’t tell him that I stared at him and I’m still grateful for that. However, shortly after I stopped staring at him Chris arrived at school. He walked straight up to the boy, even ignoring his friends for him.” Isak had a feeling were this was going.

“So he walked up to him and hugged him from behind. I had a bad feeling when I saw this and when the boy turned around and kissed Chris that was justified. Chris looked so pleased when their kiss ended and the boy turned around again, so I could see his face, he seemed so happy. I stared at him again, I liked this look on him, I just didn’t like Chris being the reason for it. Maybe I was a little too obviously staring at him, because Chris soon looked at me. You can guess he didn’t like me staring at - well you probably realized that by now - you.”

“You- you’ve seen me before Chris was there?” Isak was surprised by that. He hasn’t expected that.

“Yeah. And I wouldn’t have cared about you being in a relationship if it wasn’t him. He always seemed to get what he wanted, you know. Sometimes I stopped him from getting that, but I didn’t care about those party hook ups. I started doing it because of his reactions. With you it was different. I didn’t understand what you wanted from him. I mean Chris isn’t the nicest person in the world.”

“He was always nice to me.”

“Yeah, but that’s the point. He was nice to you. Not to others. So when I realized I could get to him, I did. With the hook ups it was pretty easy. I only had to flirt a little in front of him and then I had to kiss some of them. Then he started dating you. I couldn’t get to him with hook ups anymore and Chris in general stayed the same. He was an asshole to a lot of people. For some time he broke at least one heart every party. After he met you and the rumours about him being in a relationship spread some of his former hook ups talked to him. To some of them he lied, told them stuff that sounded great, but he didn’t mean it. Sure, some of them can be blamed for believing obvious bullshit but some of them just wanted to pretend. I don’t know what he said to them when they talked to him but they claim he was a dick. Sure, you can say they exaggerated but Chris wasn’t to everyone like he was to you.” Isak listens. He can’t believe Chris being really bad to them, William was the one for that.

“I don’t think it was too bad either, but he could have found better words than to say their hook up meant nothing to him. But you know how some people are, you tell them you don’t want anything from them and they go crazy.” Isak just nods slightly.

“I don’t know, when he was with you, I got I don’t know... jealous? Though I didn’t know you back then. Chris obviously noticed it and wasn’t happy about it. So he shoved me your relationship in the face. I have no clue how you didn’t pick up on that. Maybe you remember the week of the party” There was only one party he could refer to “I looked at you at school. I mainly did that because I knew Chris would get angry, a little because of you as well, but that wasn’t so important. The first time we talked was more important for that.” Isak smiles at that remark.

“I mean it was obvious you were totally into Chris, but I don’t know... I still fell for you. Hard. After that I wanted to be with you so badly. That’s probably why I went after you at the party. Well... I mean that was because you looked so upset and I didn’t like that look on you... I don’t know.” Even shrugs, brushes some hair out of Isak’s face before he kisses him gently.

“I think I was jealous.” Even says when they break part. “I know I was jealous.” Isak smiles.

“You don’t have to be anymore.” Even smiles back and presses a kiss to Isak’s lips.

 

Isak spends the weekend at Even’s. They talk a lot. Mostly about what it is that they have (A relationship, they decide.) and whether they want to tell people about it (They decide to tell their friends as soon as they can.). They share a lot of kisses – Isak wouldn’t be able to count them even if he wanted to.

At Sunday afternoon, when Isak leaves, after kissing Even several times, he realizes, he wouldn’t change a thing about Even and everything else that happened in the past days. In general, there is only one thing in his life he would change right now. One thing that has something to do with Even.

 

At Monday in school he tells his friends about Even.

“Yeah dude, we know.” Magnus is the first to say something. Isak shoots the rest a questioning look.

“Well, it was about time.” Sana says and when he looks at Jonas, his best friend mouths: ‘I told you so’.

Because of these supportive reactions Isak has no problem with kissing Even as a greeting, when he sees him for the first time that day, without caring about who sees them.

 

“So, William throws a party, since he’s out of school now and you can all come.” Noora explains to him and the others shortly after they all arrived at the Kollektiv. William next to her nods. For Isak it’s weird seeing William here. In the middle of his friends. Holding Noora’s hand and acting human-like. William now turns directly to Isak and Even, who has his arm around Isak.

“You two as well. Chris will be there and he says he wants you to come. He knows about this” William points at them “and he says it’s cool. So, I hope you all will come, since you know what they say: The more the merrier.”  Isak nods and from the outside he might look like he’s totally cool, but his inside screams. Of course Chris knows. Isak already thought so. But he is cool with it. That thought makes him smile and he moves closer to Even, so he can lay his chin on Even’s shoulder and press a kiss to it, without having everybody see it.

 

The party is a week after. Even and Isak arrive together with Jonas and Eva. Today Eva is weirdly sober. Since this is a party Isak expected her to arrive almost drunk, but he doesn’t think she drank a lot before, if she drank at all. Eva and Jonas leave them as soon as they arrive at William’s flat and Even lets go of his hand.

“I’ll grab us some beer.” He says, kisses Isak’s cheek and walks away.

 

After Even leaves him, Isak looks around the room. His gaze falls on Chris. Chris, who looks up when he feels Isak’s look. The grin he shoots Isak when their eyes meet is the same Chris sent him so often. Isak takes this as an invite and walks towards him.

“I see you found yourself a new boyfriend.” Chris states this without any accusation in his voice. His expression doesn’t show any sign of this either, so Isak takes this as a normal way for Chris to do communication.

“Yeah.” Isak nods but has no clue what else to say to him. He hopes for Chris to say something – anything really – however Isak didn’t expect him to say what he does next:

“I’m happy for you.” Isak is shocked by those words. His eyes widen and all he gets out is:

“What?”

“I’m happy for you. You seem to be happy, so I’m happy for you.”

“But- It’s- He’s- We- The kiss.” Chris smirks while shaking his head.

“That might not have been the best way to break up. In front of that many people and I should have let you explain it to me, but I was so angry. William told me about it and then, when I tried to call you, you didn’t pick up and you didn’t respond to any of my texts. I was so angry. On that Monday I wanted to talk to you after school, but when we arrived everybody was staring at me – or William – and I realized they knew. And then I saw Even standing next to you. I got so angry. I don’t know, but the way I reacted was the logical way for me.” Isak understands him.

“I- I’m sorry. I can’t really explain it, but when I read your messages I didn’t know you knew about the kiss. I thought you were like that because of the fight. I was so upset, because I thought you- I don’t know. I wanted you to apologize but you didn’t. I wish I would have been able to tell you about the kiss myself. To be able to explain it; or try to explain it.”

“Then do now.” Chris says and Isak doesn’t get what that means:

“Mhm?”

“Explain it.”

“I just- I’m sorry. Even went after me after the fight. He comforted me, offered me his jacket. I was sad because you stayed in the cabin and didn’t seem to care about me. And Even was nice. He asked me whether I wanted to go, when I said yes, he helped me up from where he were sitting and then he kissed me. It was short, but I let him. Then, probably because I didn’t block the kiss he kissed me again and I kissed back. It was just that. It didn’t mean anything to me. Not really. I felt guilty. That’s also a reason why I didn’t respond to you. I felt so guilty. Hated myself for it. But I still went home with Even. William must have seen us leaving. And he told you.” Isak ends the explanation there but Chris doesn’t say anything. Isak, unable to read his expression, tries to defend himself more:

“Nothing else happened, you know? We didn’t have sex or anything. It was just this one kiss.” He kind of sounds desperate now. However Chris’ response is one he didn’t expect.

“I know. I think I’ve known back then. But seeing you with him seemed as if you were choosing him over me. I guess that’s why I hit him. I don’t like the way I handled it now, but at that moment something snapped. I’m sorry, Isak. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Should have given you the chance to explain it back then.” Chris sounds sincere, so Isak smiles at him.

“It’s okay. I think we all – including Even – would have liked to act differently.”  Chris sends Isak a smile as well. He used to be so in love with that guy.

They smile at each other and Isak likes that.

 

Isak and Chris will never be Isak and Chris, the couple, again, but maybe they could become Isak and Chris, the friends.

When Isak stops looking at Chris, his eyes fall on Even.

Even, who was already looking at Isak.

Even, who starts smiling widely. Isak does the same.

He is so in love with that guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  I’m so sorry. I know I said this will be up way sooner than now, but I just didn’t make it. Then I had to write several exams, so I had to learn... After... well I was busy. Today I decided to write this. And finish it... I guess one could call that a Christmas miracle or whatever.  
> So, I have a lot to say.  
> Firstly, the ones of you who were very early on this may have noticed I fixed the spelling mistake in the title (even without someone pointing it out). To the one who weren’t or just didn’t notice it: No, I definitely didn’t write “You’re” instead of “Your”. I don’t know what you’re talking about.  
> Secondly: I didn’t want Isak and Chris break up and then a day later Isak starts dating someone else. Isak loved Chris, so he needed time.  
> I also hope I didn’t forget to write some scenes... I didn’t write this chronologically, so I’m kind of paranoid I forgot something, although I read over it... (I mean I read over the title a dozen of times and didn’t notice the spelling mistake...)  
> So, I received 8(!) comments in less than the first 24 hours this was up... I can’t thank you enough for your feedback (Also for the comments, I got later) and I have to say, I don’t know why so many of you commented, but I was so happy about the feedback (Because of that I feel even guiltier about not updating sooner...).  
> And, to the ones who celebrate Christmas: If you get/got your presents this evening, think of this as a normal Christmas presents. If you live in a country where it’s normal to get them tomorrow morning, think of this as an early present. (Unless you don’t like this chapter/story, in that case just ignore it. Or write a comment why you didn’t like it.)  
> Merry Christmas  
> To the ones who don’t celebrate Christmas: Think of this as a present. (Unless you didn’t like it, in that case either comment why you didn’t or ignore the story.)  
> Happy Holidays
> 
> Last but not east: I hope the people who like the first chapter still like this story after the end... I don’t know... I prefer some parts of it to others...  
> I think that’s it.  
> I’ll thank you guys for reading this one last time and I hope you liked it.  
> So, now I’m out.  
> Oh wait. I almost forgot: I planned this as a one chapter story with like 5 000 words... It got a little longer... the last chapter had over 7 000 words, I think this one has over 10 000(!). So this entire story has at least 17 000(!) words! I don’t know how that happened.  
> Now I’m actually out to spend time with my family since it’s Christmas and all...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey  
> I planned this as a short, on chapter story. I wanted this to have like 5,000 words, however this is like half the story and it already has over 7,000 words...  
> I started writing this a long time ago and had a run writing it now. It’s still not 100% finished, so I’m not entirely sure when the other part will come but it’ll be soon. I think. I should do other things than writing this right now, but I can’t concentrate on that while having this story in my head. Also I have to write my stories when I’m inspired by something, otherwise they will suck more than they already do.  
> I broke this story in two parts ‘cause I don’t want the chapter to be too long and since it’s not finished I don’t know how long it’ll be.  
> Also I wanted to know if people would read this... The cut had to be there...  
> Well, I hope you enjoyed the story.


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